A few weeks ago, in Hunting Wabbits, I brought up the importance of surrendering our life mission to God. I understand, though, that the word surrender strikes fear into the hearts of many and can be what turns them away from God. It literally means “to submit to someone’s authority,” and if you don’t trust said authority figure, you’re bound to be consumed by anxiety and uncertainty.

Besides the obvious argument I would make to convince you that you should trust God (we’ll save that for another day), what if I also told you that God actually wants us to have extreme control? While surrender and control may seem to contradict each other, they not quite as opposite as one might think. In fact, they can greatly complement each other.

Internal Locus of Control

First, let’s clarify what type of control I’m referring to. From exercise psychology class in college to podcasts from my favorite gurus, I’ve had the pleasure of learning all about the internal and external loci of control. Essentially, people with an internal locus of control believe that they can shape the outcomes in their life by their own actions. Conversely, those with an external locus on control believe that outcomes are primarily the result of external factors. This would be the difference, for instance, between someone who believes they can become a millionaire through hard work vs. another person who believes that their circumstances will prevent them from ever achieving monetary success.

Generally, people who more often display an internal locus of control have far better outcomes in all areas of life. As the old saying goes, “If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right.” Also, you can take it from Master Yoda: “Do or do not, there is no try.”

Of course, you don’t have control of everything all the time. However, many people grossly underestimate what they can control (or, at least, what they can influence) and choose instead to focus on what they can’t control before even taking the actions to change what they can. For instance, you can’t hijack another person’s mind and force them to do something you want them to do. However, by learning communication skills, apply sound leadership tactics, and exhibiting a good example, you can greatly increase your chances of swaying other people to act how you want them to.

I have fallen into this trap many a time. Historically, I’ve found this easy to apply the internal locus mindset in circumstances that require proactive action, but much more challenging in reactive circumstances. Despite my now obvious shortcomings, I used to categorize myself as someone with an internal locus of control until I realized that:

1. Just because someone has an internal locus of control with regards to one (or many) area(s) of their life does NOT mean that it extends to all areas of life.
   • For example: Someone who believes they can control their gym schedule but can’t control their cravings
2. There can be areas of life where you have a partially internal and partially external locus of control.
   • For example: Someone who believes they can control the quality of the food they eat, but that their genetic propensity to hunger will always cause them to overeat on calories

Suddenly, the blinders were off and I was starkly aware of the areas of my life where my own sneaky excuses were hindering me from reaching my full potential. I was taking responsibility for most of my actions and influencing most areas of my life, but I was still falling into the trap of giving up at 80% in certain areas, or, ignoring other areas entirely and sweeping them under the rug. After I had this realization, I knew that I needed to overcome the mental roadblock and set myself up to reach my full potential.

Taking Out the Trash

It’s a simple process, but it’s not exactly easy, especially when you’re challenging deeply ingrained beliefs. Nevertheless, if you can follow these steps completely and honestly, you will be on your way to greater self-agency.

1. Identify areas of your life where you know you’re falling short and not living up to your expectations for yourself (even if just a little bit).
   • For example: My nutrition could improve.
2. Starting with the first area, write down all of your limited beliefs related to that area.
   • For example: My hormones cause me to be hungrier than the average person, which leads me to overeat.
3. Now, write down what led you to believe those things (and be kind to yourself).
   • For example: Last time I got my labs done, my hormones were out of the normal range.
4. Last but not least, debunk your limited beliefs and extract what you can control (or, at least, influence).
   • For example: I don’t actually know whether or not my hormones influence my appetite. However, even if they do, the feeling of hunger does not force me to overeat – I still have control over my reaction to a feeling.
5. Repeat steps 2-5 for each area that you identified in step 1.

Take your time with this exercise and reflect deeply on the questions. Sometimes it can help to come back to the exercise every day for several days as new limiting beliefs surface. Ideally, you will eventually reach the point where your natural reaction to any thought that reflects and external locus of control will be to pause, identify, debunk, and remind yourself that you do have control.

For the Greater Good

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

Let’s bring it back to surrender. As this verse clarifies, submitting to God does not mean we relinquish responsibility for our actions. We still must do our part to resist temptations and make the right decisions. He wants us to yield our lives and our fates to Him, but surrender is not a cop-out for not mastering our own free will and self-development. We must pursue our God-given purpose at any cost.

There is a common misconception that God will open doors for us. Sometimes He might, but sometimes He wants us to knock down the door and move the mountain by ourselves to show that we’re dedicated. He wants us to tell ourselves the hard truths and work on ourselves so that we can glorify Him with our incredible discipline and astounding accomplishments. There is a never a promise of ease, comfort, or blissful self-ignorance in the process; there is only a promise that God will use your efforts for the greater good. That, ultimately, is what makes it all worth it.